I could not end the month without another shitty tale...

Monday. This oil leak has plagued me since I started and had another go - this time making sure the little screws I had put in with blue loctite previously, removed and cut the ends off them (and put the plastic grip the correct way round!) installed with loctite instant gasket sealant. plus another crank seal along with a rubber o'ring installed behind it flush against the bearing and sits in the groove on the crank.

 

And discovered the bearing was shot on the clutch hub. My circlip pullers were not big enough so Mark at the local garage got them off for me. Stuck it in the oven and still could not separate it. back to mark who had a 10 ton press and he ordered and fitted the new bearing. 

Friday afternoon go to test ride. I had just started our little cold start routine, when my neighbours pulled up with granny so I held off blasting them. Forgot if I had pumped the the throttle and gave a couple more. Didn't fire on two kicks - too much fuel I guess. Third Kick - and Kapow - she kicked back at top of stroke.

Cracked the gearbox kicker cover and discovered a fucked starter cog too

Saturday morning. Hmmm - remembered I had a spare box for the next project

that had been plundered by someone but found a cog which I cut and ground off the damaged bits

and fitted my shaft into the cover

She tried to have my leg again starting her, so redid the timing, I had been running slightly advanced but without this problem.

Next mistake. 

Ride to Krazyhorse 50 miles to pick up a starter crank without test ride first!

Put in some fuel out of can in garage.

Clutch squealed a bit. Bike ran bad hoped it was fuel. We didn't stop for fuel.

Would not start there. Usually one kick and the primary is making a noise. Eventually George Kicked as my Knee playing up. Then went To Clive at SoLow Choppers thats behind a Gas Station and fill up.

Won't start again, tried to have my leg, clive thought the timing advanced? and making a big noise when she does start.

Take off primary cover everything tight thank fuck but there is this noise.

Started to Rain! and I get her going leaving a nice puddle of oil from the breather.

The misfire cleared as the new fuel came through, a little damp but we got home safe. Phew.

welcome to my world...

funny I laughed a lot when I viewed this for the first time, 
I really don't remember doing the voiceover much...

and tales from a cold garage workshop...

and some bits on the bench…

my cam bearing puller tool...

 worked!...

 shit or bust*...

a little heat helps here...

and flushed with success and I'm not so cold now…

* a favourite saying of the old mechanic 

in the bike shop where I earned pocket money after school

NB 

 A claw hammer is made of hard brittle steel… It is hard so striking nails won't wear out the head.

It's head is much harder that a mechanics hammer… And it will chip when it is used on mechanics

chisels, punches ect… And the chip will try and put out an eye, or at least embed itself in your hide.

thanks to Larry  luckybastards-mc.com

expect the unexpected... or fucking typical...

tidying up the handlebars - switches and wiring 

 drill and tap some holes and feed the wires through...

 looking good, and no fuck ups so far...

nice clean bars, no more external cables, just needs a new small brake master cylinder...

then connect the wiring up and... 

the horn doesn't work - but it does when connected to the other micro switch... but that's  for the head lights...

bollocks, all that work and the switch is fucked

bollocks

The sun came out and we went for a ride 

and Mr Plod was waiting to fuck our day up

We blasted by totally unaware and after our little outing 

I posted 'sun is shining' on the first sunny day of March.

I think I have spent more time on the bitch than any thing in my life, and still she wants more...

just in time for the tripout

fork brace loose again, longer bolts and loctite

mudguard bracket fractured

 it also mounts the third fixing for the oil tank

not an easy fix and why did it happen????

and finally managed to snap the kickstand extension off which is essential

and then the throttle locked open...

went out to test the new plugs

set the carb yesterday and ran really well, 

so I thought I'd try with the NGK Iridium plugs.

So we are in the third lane of the M25 doing 70 ish and the throttle locked open...

Funny, my right hand still looked for the kill button, that used to be there before chopperdom.

 Eventually the revs eased a bit, I turned off the ignition, switching lanes and pulling over on the hard shoulder. And what a miserable place that is.

Phew. what caused that? and...

Fuck the keys are missing.

Walk back up the hard shoulder and there they are... 

in the second lane, but not for long - a car spins them into the third lane, then shortly another, boinggg into the outside lane and then another bounces them onto the concrete central barrier.

Just no fucking luck.

So what to do, ring my mate Pete, get him to pick up my spare key and ask him to find me on the 25.

Or... hotwire the ignition.

So, hands shaking while these fucking monsters roar by I wire it up under the seat, wondering whether she'll rev through the roof if she starts.

And then how do I stop her...

Throttle seems to be free and she fires right up no revving.

I thought if there's a problem I'll just pull up the choke lever...

We dawdled home till I found some confidence and tried koshing the throttle. Seems OK.

Pull up outside the house and pull on the choke (enrichment lever).

Fucking great idea - she hesitates and then revs up!

this can't be right, she dies every time when cold if you do that. 

Try it again, revs go up.

Fuck it, pull the plug caps and she dies.

And I still don't know what caused it all...

always look on the bright side of life...

rear inlet seal loose

 rear exhaust seal fucked (well it was after removal)

 burnt valve and seat, hardly sealing for compression

so it wasn't the rings, but...

some scoring on piston and barrels, looks like I didn't get all those metal filings out of the new oil tank...

when you're chewing on life's gristle, 

don't grumble give a whistle...

oh dear

That leak is back on the front of the front head fins

but discovered it is travelling all the way from inlet rocker screw

pipes are covered in soot and plugs too

So I took out the air filter and went for a ride to Paul's house.

Where he showed me his fucked back tire. 

Then we noticed WHITE SMOKE coming from my rear pipe.

Fuck

This is what the plugs looked like after that short trip

Not good.

I've ordered some viton valve seals and special rocker seals from the states.

Heads off tomorrow. Fingers crossed.  

forty nine per cent motherfucker

 wednesday - much to my amazement the drive sprocket came off

 and the studs back in with loctite

 Saturday my order finally arrived

 oohh look - bent mainshaft shifter fork

 new Andrews countershaft shifter fork sitting on the old one 

the corner of which I had filed down

 little bit of grooving on the mainshaft fork too

 Back together again - this time with a shifter shaft lock ring!

 the bent fork

forty nine percent motherfucker 

are you as tired of this tale as I am?

 She starts and doesn't misfire, so we finally go for a test ride

Having failed to diagnose the previous non start (no spark).

 A kilometre feels a long way when you're pushing a shovelhead back home

Christine started running rough, no acceleration and finally died, pulled the plugs sparking but dry.

Still, she now starts with the enrichener, 

I just couldn't get some matching brass clothes pegs to hold it open

close but no cigar...

double check the valve is the correct length 

 I figured it should be close to this measurement

 and so it proved to be close - but no cigar

Replace the valve seat

Fuck it, take it to an engineering shop and get the lot done. 

Then sanity finally reared its ugly head, the engine had been rebuilt with new valves and guides and cost is a significant factor and so dremeling the rocker cover for clearance will do till the next time the heads are worn out.

Failure to prepare…

Prepare to fail. 

 9.15 am. I should have known, she would not start, 

ran like a dog and we're nearly late.

Put Christine on the jack before the test and checked the frame headstock play amongst other things.

But I didn't hold the axle to do it, takes two, then there's a lot more leverage on long forks. The guys at Black Dog 'we wouldn't do this if it was a bloody scooter' in Staines, had a go at adjusting it out but there wasn't enough - so a spacer washer under the bottom bearing is required (hopefully). 

And I also foolishly tightened the drive chain as it was catching the rear guard - but not that bloody tight, it must have a tight spot. However I loosened it before coming back and it was tight as fuck again when we got home. 

It seemed a good idea to get the test done and find out about MOT requisites...

 But if I was honest of course I wanted her to pass first time.

Kev who runs 'Black Dog' and rides HD reckons the ignition is retarded.

And I think he's right as it hasn't been set 'dynamically' on a timing gun, according to Dynatek that should not be necessary... 

By the way all you lot out there with those little number plates - 

check the size (65mm) of the 'legal' mot plate they made for me.